Friday, April 11, 2008
Israelis generally speak English pretty well. They start learning that lingua franca somewhere around first or second grade. The TV show "Friends" was a huge hit, and I personally was involved with an Air Force intelligence officer who spoke perfect English; she claims it was from watching that show. I was on the bus recently and saw an Israeli high schooler reading an English novel. They speak English!
So how on G-d's green earth do these misplaced and inappropriate words and expressions go unnoticed?! I love it, don't get me wrong, I love it, but aren't we trying to be a first-rate country over here? The real joke is whether or not they plan on trying to export anything to an English speaking country. I love me some sugar candy, but maybe this isn't just candy...
If you notice, I already got my fix. Pretty powerful sugar if you ask me. Look at those faces! I can just hear them now:
"Hey man, hey, I swear it's good, man. Just take a hit, bro, it'll mess you up!" Says the winking guy in the upper left corner.
Tongue hanging out, drool dribbling down his chin, this joker manages to slur "I can't feel my face, man. Why you starin' at me?"
"Withdrawal is a bitch..." says the frowny face in the lower right.
And the best? What kind of advertising is this, at least for parents who may buy this drug for their kids? Yes, I want my child to be so high on "Magic Dust" (say that slowly) that his eyes go in different directions. "You gotta try it, you gotta try it!"
Finally, look at this sedated face. "I'm so messed up I can barely keep my eyes open, my pupils are so dilated you can barely see the color, and damnit, it feeeeeels goooood."
I had the brilliant idea to take a picture of this bag next to a line of salt and a rolled up bank note, making it look like a real drug scene. I figured my mom and Google wouldn't share my humor, though. Hey, quit stifling my creativity, stupid anti-drug society! We here in Israel know how to do it, even if we do advertise candy corn on a bag of pure sugar in a country where I have never even seen candy corn. Good riddance to that stupid Halloween treat. I'd rather have the Dust, baby. Yeah, get me some more of that Magic Dust.
I love Israeli candy.