Thursday, September 11, 2008

Classic Israeli Moment

I was sitting at my table tonight, dilligently working on twenty pages of transcripts for my job, when there was a knock at the door.  Unfortunately, our landlord hasn't installed the gate to our entrance that he said he would get around to, oh I don't know... ten months ago!  So, the guy comes to our door, knocks, and I answer it.  I have no idea who he is, and I figured that maybe he was here to see the apartment.  I'm not renewing my lease, so there have been viewers once already, and considering that my landlord gave me ten minutes before the last viewers came, I thought he just failed to tell me at all.

I opened the door, thinking he was here to see the apartment.  "Hi," I said.  I waited for him to say something.  He looked past me, around the place...

"ש שןו קכח לנסבצמ נןשקו םןשח גהח בדנה נןשיק םכיםןמה תצבסנהע םןחעפםק כחלךהמב תצמהםמןכ מעקרומהב המכםן ורמהם מחהל מבלחעםוירןועןד מגד"

"Um," I stammered, quickly realizing with embarrassment that I actually understood zero words that he said.  "Sorry, but my Hebrew is pretty terrible.  What are you saying," I choked out in Hebrew.

Switching to English, "Oh..."  He looked just as uncomfortable as me.

"Yes?," I asked.

"So you don't read the newspaper in Hebrew?"

The look of confusion on his face before he asked the most obvious question of his life was priceless.  Absolutely priceless.  It more than made up for my lack of understanding, which I don't even feel bad about because he threw some insanely fast 'Brew in my direction.

Honestly, if I can't even understand your introduction to selling me a newspaper, how am I supposed to read the paper in Hebrew?!  Classic Israeli Moment brought to you by Stupid Immigrants Don't Know Nothin'.


Rafi G. said...


Lady-Light said...

I'm still trying to read what you wrote in Ivrit. My eyes are crossed.

Israeli by Day said...

Don't waste your time - it's just gibberish! I couldn't be bothered to write all that.