I suppose I should't be ashamed to tell anyone, especially if they read my blog, that I fancy myself a writer. All through my childhood I was encouraged by teachers and family (i.e.- my mom) to write; I was encouraged to develop my writing skills. I'm not sure if I'm a good writer, or if I'll ever be able to actually publish anything, but it is my dream. There's something comforting in knowing what you really would like to be, no matter how far off it may be.
I would like to write modern classics. I read so much from the 19th century, and I am obsessed with the supernatural ability of those writers to combine narrative with philosophy, mystery with psychology, and superficial with the super-serious. There is, nonetheless, a terrible feeling inherent in reading, and wanting to emulate the giants of the novel; A daunting mix of inspiration and intimidation. How could I ever hope to walk alongside Dickens, gamble with Dostoyevsky, or sail with Melville? I could never, of course, but since when did our dreams have to be so realistic?
I made this post because I was reading over my last post, and noticed the disordinate amount of times I used the word "despite" to start a sentence. My writing is, and always has been, plagued with the use of the 'conjunctive adverb.' However, despite, therefore, nevertheless. Also, if you'll notice, I started each paragraph of this post with the same word, "I." Another classic mistake in first person writing. I never said that I thought myself worthy of writing a book, I just said I wanted to write a book. Want to write a book. I also have a problem shifting tenses.
Sometimes I think I'll never write properly, even after all that schooling.