Friday, August 21, 2009

Golani Versus Tzanchanim - The Showdown

After a long few weeks of sharing a small area with a platoon of Tznefim ('young' paratroopers), a period of time which involved phones stolen from our area, combined guard duty, and trading responsibility of cleaning the bathroom, a brouhaha finally erupted. If you're just coming in now, to put a long story short, Golani hates Tzanchanim (paratroopers). Why? Honestly, it's not worth getting into for the 30th time.

One night last week my platoon was singing some of our company and platoon songs when the paratroopers across the way turned up their music to drown us out. We carried on, however, louder than ever. Undeterred, the paratrooper jerks came out of their tents with shirts on their heads, symbolizing who knows what, and pans and ladles in their hands. West Side Story was about to go down, IDF style.

While us Golanchikim sang our songs and clapped our hands, these sissy-kids were busy banging on pots and pans! They couldn't even play fair, as far as we were concerned, and we just laughed them off. We stood on our opposing sides, like the Jets about to trounce the Sharks, and battled for who could sing and yell the loudest. Apparently no one told the tznefim that musical instruments aren't allowed in these showdowns.

Here's a short clip from my phone of the impromptu rivalry face-off:


video


That went on for probably 30 minutes. It was the same cycle of us belting out some song, while they made as much noise as possible. Then it'd be their turn to sing a song, and, well... not much. They'd just bang on the pots and pans. I don't think Tzanchanim has as many battle songs as Golani.

In all seriousness, I wasn't sure where this clash was leading. Our platoon commander, a second lieutenant, was looking pretty nervous. He loves when we sing and go all crazy, but I gazed over at him and saw what only could be described as anxiety wracking his face. Making matters worse was the paratrooper platoon commander, just standing on the side smiling, not saying a word to our C.O.

You see, this is all fun and games, but I think there is a real amount of dislike between our two groups. At the end of the day, Golani and paratroopers are both in the same army, but you wouldn't know it at this point. Our CO knows and appreciates that we have to work together, and like a good officer hates division in the army. I understand that. I understand his concern.

But how can you not jeer these guys when they cheat even at making noise?! And how about this one:



After getting up at 5am and going out into the desert in our M113's, working in the 100 degree Farenheit weather without a break, and without shade all day, we finally come back late afternoon to find a whole squad of Tznefim sleeping in the bathroom's sink room.

Let me repeat that: they were sleeping in the room with the sinks. Why? Because it was hot outside. I just got finished working in the most uncomfortable conditions - happily, I might add - and these guys had to escape indoors. See, you ask why we don't like paratroopers?! They're soft...

and of course, they wear dresses.


16 comments:

Anonymous said...

my son's in the tzanchanim and neither he or his friends have ever expressed any dislike or resentment towards the golani. everyone has a job to do and golani does their job well. while the tzanchanim guard the borders and the west bank from murderous animals the golani's contributions of protecting the beaches of tel aviv from invasion; making sure falafel stands are meeting code; and protecting taglit/birthright students from unscrupulous vendors in the old city are meaningful in their own way. each protects israel in their own way: one more significant than the other!

Kirara said...

ROFL

Anonymous said...

Psst, Danny!

The one to the right is a girl. They do wear dresses. And, they're suppose to be soft (in the right places).

Sam

Anonymous said...

poster #1 is a poon.

Danny Brothers said...

Well, mothers usually do get very defensive about their daughters.

Ruanne said...

Ha ha. Sounds just like the long standing and sometimes bitter rivalry between my old unit, the 10th Mountain Division and our idiot comrades, the 101st Airborne Division, who like to shoot first, and think later. If ever. They would probably say something equally unflattering about us. We had to share a trailer in a puddle on a hill on the edge of Baghdad with a platoon of those jokers for a few months. We got the last laugh. I will say no more, lest I incriminate anybody...

Anonymous said...

The grapes were probably sour anyways, right Danny?

The truth is Tzanchanim doesnt have a problem with Golani, but Golani sure has a problem with Tzanchanim.

Maybe its because they still feel the sting from not passing the gibush to qualify for the paratroopers. Maybe they are jealous of the wings, the boots, the legacy, and the "dresses". Or maybe they are just mad that they are in Golani gdudim, full of crybabies and AWOLers, the kings of shvi'zut.

I have all the respect for Yachsar Golani, everybody knows their sayeret is the best. But to be in the gdudim? Thanks but no thanks.

Anonymous said...

Love you Bro! U r the man, and no one can compete with u and ur division. We all miss you very much! Be safe!!! much love bro!!!

Israel said...

A Golanchick crying about following the rules. Oh the irony...

Ruanne said...

I do like those brown boots though. Much better than the suede they switched us too, which are not waterproof. And U.S. troops are always training in swamps...

Anonymous said...

There wouldn't be a problem to begin with if the Tzanchanim didn't replace the Golani flag with their own, after the Golani recaptured the Mt. Hermon outpost during the Yom Kippur War. Especially after taking such severe losses. It seems such a show of disrespect and dishonor can last more than a lifetime, but hey I guess that's just how lazy dress wearers roll.

Dovid said...

My friend just sent me the link to this blog cause I made the gibbush but would rather to to golani and can't decide what to do
Good stuff
Hope u haad an overall good and safe service
Dovi Ginsberg

Danny Brothers said...

Dovi Ginsberg - Ashkenazi - motivated immigrant - in great shape - speaks English as mother tongue - White and probably educated....

Tznef - Paratrooper

Danny Brothers said...

Oh, and to the anonymous poster forever ago badmouthing Golani gdudim --- I don't care what brigade it is, gdudim win the war. How do they use sayeret, at least in Cast Lead? They went in for weeks on end, without coming out. The gdudim went out every couple days, resupplying. You know what that means? They were blowing it up every day, letting loose thousands of rounds and grenades and matols and everything. You talk about shock and awe firepower who is getting it done? It's the gdud, whether that's Nachal or Golani or whomever.

Sour grapes and not making the Tznef gibush? The "legacy" of Tzefs? The boots? Who cares about the boots?

The one thing you got right is that Golanchikim are the kings of shvizut. Yes, indeed, big time! But what is Tzahal without shvizut?

Anonymous said...

HI, I am an american Jewish teen living in New York,
I really love Israel, and I know that achdut, unity, binds us all and that's what really wins the wars. Stop the rivalry about which unit is better, everyone plays a different part, and when every piece is put together then we will win.
Am Yisrael Chai! Love your fellow Jews, Unite, and we will ALWAYS win!

Danny Brothers said...

Anonymous - Rivalry between units is as old as civilization itself. It's a positive rivalry. There was rivalry all the way down to different squads within a platoon, and your platoon is like your family, brothers. Rivalry is good. Even in War & Peace Tolstoy put a ton of rivalry scenes between the cavalry and infantry in.

Don't worry, the different IDF units know achdut.