Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Golani Soldiers Get Hot Girlfriends?

I've been wanting to post about this one guy in my unit and his girlfriend for, oh I don't know, maybe about four months now. Forever ago we were on a bus heading to a different base to do some training, and he used my cell phone to access an Israeli version of MySpace or Facebook. He wanted to show me pictures of his girlfriend. "OK, I thought. This'll be interesting."

Now, this guy is very nice. He's quiet and kind and well-behaved. He doesn't get a temper over every little thing, and he knows how to talk to people calmly. In short, he's basically un-Israeli. He's a good seed. However, his beauty is, how would you say, found on the inside. Don't get me wrong, he's not ugly by any means. I've seen him shirtless, and he may not be Brad Pitt, but he's in shape. He's an average looking person.

So when he loaded up the photo album of his girlfriend, I was expecting an average looking girl. It would be fair to say that I was speechless when I was shown about 50 pictures of a drop-dead gorgeous female. She's probably about 5'8, dark skin and dark brown, curly hair, a cute little nose that sits perfectly between tastefully prominent cheekbones. He showed me some bikini shots (relax), and this girl is fit! She not only has a beautiful face, but she also has an athlete's body.

My speechlessness turned into suspicion. I asked him if he was rich, or if maybe she was crazy, and even if he was lying. I apologized for my insolence, but I told him that this girl was out of both our leagues, combined. He swore that she was his real-life girlfriend, and that he could prove it. He went to another album, and there were all the cheesy, corny, bf/gf pictures that 18 year olds take. Hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc.

I secretly harbored the notion that she could be a hired model, or maybe a slightly morally debased cousin. He put all the suspicions to rest, however, when he recently showed me some more risque pictures. Nothing too serious, of course, but no cousin outside of West Virginia or Kentucky would be caught in a photo like that. And if she's a hired model, well, he really knows how to keep up an act.

So, the real impetus for this post came just this morning when another guy showed me pictures of his girlfriend. This guy is nice and all, but he's a major mooch sometimes, yells like everyone else over every little thing, and simply isn't the angel that our first example is. Looks-wise, he's just normal. He's definitely not fat now, but he was, and he's by no means the type to envy. He's just average, or even a little less... (not trying to be mean here, just making a point).

OK, his girlfriend is pretty much a model too. She's actually pretty similar in that she's dark-skinned with dark, curly hair. I guess I can't really describe a face that well, but let's just imagine a Sephardi Jewish chick that you'd easily introduce to your ubercritical friends with pride. And did I harbor suspicion? No, I didn't. By now I've just kinda grown used to Israeli girls having bad taste.

But honestly, can someone help me figure this out? I know Israeli guys are totally into blondes, mainly because that is more of a rarity here, but are dark-skinned, dark curly haired girls so abundant that even the gorgeous ones are stuck with mediocre partners? If that is the case, which I'm seriously entertaining the thought of, why haven't I met any on a personal level? Not that I'm looking, and not that I'm immodestly comparing myself to these two guys (I am), but come on, at least let me encounter this apparently bottomless pit of dark Jewish girls.

I think that Israeli girls are just better looking than Israeli guys. Or these guys are really good liars.

15 comments:

Aviv said...

It sort of goes like this:

- "Well, my boyfriend is in Golani."
- "Oh my gosh Ortal!!! I'm so jealous."

Lauren said...

Yup, that's basically how it goes...pilots also (or moreso)

It's a status thing. The guys want the hot girls and the girls want the elite unit guys.

Anonymous said...

love you bro! We miss you! Be safe!

Debs said...

let's see if they are real at tekes kumtar!

Hassy said...

Kol Hakavod on a great blog! I'm really enjoying reading your writing and you know what, as far as the hot girls are concerned - magiya lecha!

Ariel Kogan said...

Danny, the kipa has a good and a bad thing.

The good one: You get the time to pray in the mornings while all the other ones are cleaning the room. Well, also Shabat, eating Debs food on Shabat, reading on Shabat, etc.

The bad thing: You are missing the partying weekends where all the girls were simply waiting the whole week to have the enormous luck of being with a golanchik like you.

Tim Curtiss said...

Dude, why didn't you wait until after you finished the Army before becoming religious. If you meet one of the dark skinned curly haired girls you have to ask her to visite the mikve before you take her back to your apartment.

Anonymous said...

Israeli girls are beautiful pretty much across the board. I expect Danny to wind up with a drop dead gorgeous datiya who not only digs the golanchik thing but also the slick way he keeps shabbat.

Danny Brothers said...

Thanks Anonymous. That made me smile.

Anonymous said...

:)

Nikki G said...

I never had dated or been remotely attracted to Israeli soldiers until I stumbled across one who turned out to be in Duvdevan. That didn't make or break it for me whatsoever, but let's just say it was a nice plus :)
At first I didn't know what the difference was between a regular unit and an elite one, but let's just say that doing crazy operations doesn't make one guy any better than the next one who does shmira in chevron.

Ami Vider said...

I think that you are underestimating your (golani's) ability to attract "hot girlfriends" (chicks?). From the looks golani was getting in Tel Aviv during that run from the golan to eilat, you should be getting more action. Take a look at the picture and story from Tel Aviv. http://israeltomorrow.blogspot.com/2009/06/sex-in-city-sweaty-soldiers-out-of.html -- Oh, the inspiration to the "sex" angle comes from a few chicks on the other side of Rabin square while on a lunch break. I didn't actually speak with the golani soldiers but they did look good in yellow :) [that's what they said]

Anonymous said...

I am an American Ashkenazi Jew. One thing I notice is that here in the states, all we have is blondes, and light skin jewish girls. I've been wanting to try some dark kosher meat. Dark skin, big boobs, black hair with green eyes to be exact. I wonder if I will have better luck in israel, because the Persian Jewish girls of Los Angeles are more stuck up then the princesses of England, and the Sephardic girls in general are just so nil out here that I had to fly across the country just to get with a Mizrahi chick ( Turk/Bukharian) I wonder if I will have better luck in Israel.

Danny Brothers said...

anonymous - nice comment. If you're looking for non-ashkenazi girls, israel is your place. But don't ask me for advice. I haven't talked to a girl in two years.

David said...

Dude I've said the same thing a million times. I've seen girls in ISrael I thought only existed in mythical tales and dreams, and their dating the most regular looking guy of all time. But hey it's far better than the other way around!