Commander Sweetheart's Basic Training

We've spent a lot of time in our room checking our equipment, doing various things to it all like putting strings on this and that and attaching things together. These sessions have been the biggest downtime for us so far in the army; the most time without having to really truly be doing something strenuous. We're just in the room standing next to our bunks, trying to figure out how to tie some knot or how to fold up our rain jackets properly.

I love these times because they're little breaks. I see them as gifts. I work really quickly doing everything without talking more than necessary, focusing on finishing, and then once I'm done there is generally a ton of time left. I sit down and rest, or I furtively play on my phone (not allowed), and usually help others. It's nice and relaxing.

But the guys in my room, as the post before last asserts, are just plain wild. They're yelling and goofing off. They hardly work and then backtalk the commander when the time inevitably runs out without them finishing. They make stupid requests that aren't at all related to the task at hand. They just don't do their jobs, they act like kids, spoiled brats really, and consequently they take forever to do the simplest things.

The commander keeps giving them more and more time, and I sit there and watch all the craziness going on. A headache generally creeps in on most occasions. But I just sit and watch, amazed that these guys in a matter of months are going to be true warriors - actual warriors that know what the hell they are doing. Now they are brats. In 6.5 months at the end of advanced training... don't mess with them.

So anyway, in the midst of one of these potentially awesome yet ruined sessions the commander was walking around and checking to make sure we tied our tent poles together as explained. He checked mine, I got a thumbs up, and then he smiled at me and asked how I'm doing.

"Good good," I said. "But these kids..."

"What about them?"

"I mean, was it like this in your room during basic training?"

Commander Sweetheart smiled and rolled his eyes along with his head. He clicked his tongue and let out a deep breath.

"100%," he said.

"These are the times I feel like a grownup," I returned.

Commander Sweetheart gave me a knowing smile, punched me in the shoulder, and moved along to the next guy.

Silly Punishment

I am constantly wondering what punishment is like in the American army. All I can think of is what I see in movies: standing still in the rain all night long; pushups in the rain all night long; stacking sandbags in the rain all night long; anything in the rain all night long, actually.

We have it easy in the Israeli army. What is our punishment like? Well, it can suck, but in general it's funny stuff. Take this picture, for example. Here's a guy who had to do guard duty with his combat vest, personal bag, and army kit bag on his back, three uncomfortable pieces of equipment that are not meant to be worn like this.

It's really not so bad in the IDF! How could they act like they do in the American army when this army, the Israeli army, is a mandatory service? It just wouldn't work.

Commander Sweetheart At His Best

My commander, a small Ethiopian guy with a big smile, is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me in the army. He understands my position (24, mature-ish, educated, motivated, less than perfect Hebrew), and better yet, he seems to respect me. When I mess up, which is inevitable, he tells me what to do instead of yelling and giving me punishment. My squad commander is just about the greatest guy in the world.

The other morning us religious kids returned from the morning prayers and did the obligatory announcing of the commander. It's like the "officer on deck!" thing in the American navy, I guess. Commander Sweetheart put a smile on my face as usual:

"FOR THE RECEPTION OF THE COMMANDER BY THE RELIGIOUS, STAND AT ATTENTION! 2, 3... ATTTENNN-TION!!"

Commander Sweetheart walked down the line with his hands in his pocket, a grin on his face, and then came to a stop. He stood with his feet together in the orthodox Jewish prayer style and rocked back and forth like an Old Word rabbi.

"Amen!," he shouted.

Hanukkah In The Jewish Army

I studied in a Jewish seminary (yeshiva) a few years back, and at the time I was just beginning to consider the idea of serving in the Israeli Army. This particular yeshiva is a "charedi" institution - essentially ultra-orthodox. Charedi yeshivas are generally not very Zionistic, and their opinion of young men serving in an army instead of spending all day every day studying Torah is fairly low. So, when I volunteered to a rabbi that I was interested in the IDF, the response wasn't warm, to say the least.

The rhetoric thrown around was that the IDF is a "bad place for religious Jews." They liked to say that it's hard to be religious there, that it's hard to keep your level of faith, and that there are too many bad influences. At the time I didn't have any other information, I didn't know what it's like to be orthodox in the army, so I just took it for what it was worth: hyper-religious Jerusalemites judging what they had no experience in in the first place. I didn't know what to think, but I assumed that they were being slightly dramatic.

And now I know just how wrong they were. I have become even more observant of Torah law in the army. I pray three times a day, as required in Judaism, I'm kosher without condition, and I celebrate all the holidays and cultural events to the max. It's just so easy to be religious in the army. We wake up in the morning, do a gun safety check, and then we are promptly given nearly an hour for the morning prayers. It's either pray or clean the rooms...

Easy choice. Shabbat and the holidays, as well, are just kind of thrown in your face. For example, for Shabbat the entire base eats a festive and special meal together on Friday night. In the beginning we say the kiddush, a sanctification of the sabbath day, with the entire base standing with heads covered in the Jewish fashion. We all say amen together, and inevitably hundreds of soldiers are singing and dancing to Jewish songs. There's also a dvar Torah, or a saying from the Torah - similar to a sermon, but usually a highly specific and interesting tidbit on an aspect of a Bible story.

In fact, the army is such a good place for religious people that I have actually wondered if the secular soldiers are often uncomfortable or offended. We say prayers together, we have to listen to a religious sermon from a rabbi, there is a large synagogue in the middle of the base, the meals are mandatory, and the commanders made it very clear to not disturb the Shabbat observant crowd - i.e., electronics playing music, excessive use of the lights, etc.

I'm constantly surprised at the religiosity of this organization. So when Hanukkah came around I was happily surprised as we were gathered each night to light the candles, say the prayers, and join in on singing and dancing to celebrate the victory that the Maccabeans had over the powerful Greeks. Here we were, a group of Jewish soldiers celebrating the most unlikely of upsets by our Jewish brothers 2000 years before. For so long we had no state, much less no army, and consequently we had no security. Our people were thrown from land to land, abused and led like sheep to the slaughter. But finally we've returned, and I'm a part of that.

As we sang "Al HaNisim" I couldn't help but feel the hand of divine assistance; the Maccabean War and the 1948 War of Independence seemed like one and the same. Hanukkah is a celebration of the Jews overcoming the Greek oppressors, a regime that attempted to destroy the Jewish people, faith, and state. We overcame them then, and we will overcome the attackers of our state again. Hanukkah is a celebration of the physical strength to be found in faith, and I think what the charedi yeshivas are missing is that the IDF's fist is steeled only because its other hand is grasping a Torah.

We know where our strength comes from, just as Joshua and David knew, just as Judah The Maccabee knew. Here's a video of my platoon dancing and singing part of "Al HaNisim." I wish I had the camera out for the lighting of the candles. Look below the video for a translation of the song.



"And for the miracles, and for the salvation, and for the mighty deeds, and for the victories, and for the battles which You performed for our forefathers in those days, at this time.

...When the wicked Greek kingdom rose up against your people Israel to make them forget Your Torah and compel them to stray from the statutes of Your Will, You in Your great mercy stood up for them in the time of their distress. You took up their grievance, judged their claim, and avenged their wrong. You delivered the strong into the hands of the weak, the man into the hands of the few, the impure into the hands of the pure, the wicked into the hands of the righteous, and the wanton into the hands of the diligent students of Your Torah..."

The Guys In My Squad

Squads are the smaller units of the army, generally consisting of 15 or so guys. So, it's me and a dozen Israeli kids sleeping in one room. That room is your unit, the guys you do everything with. We have to sit together in the dining hall. We shoot together. We receive punishment as a group. It's an in-your-face experience with absolutely no time apart.

Being 24 years old has been tougher than I expected. So many people like to say that Israelis are much more mature than Americans at the end of the teens because of the army, and maybe that's true, but at 18... they're much worse. I'm not sure if they're just rebelling, if they're just coming from a culture with more freedoms and less seriousness, or if they're just idiots.

Sometimes I think they're just idiots. As you can tell, this past week for me has been insanely frustrating. I decided to come to Israel to help defend this state, for whatever that's worth, and so I'm just about the most serious person in the world at this point. I give 110% in everything I do. I don't open my mouth. I don't complain. I don't ask questions to ask questions. I don't make requests. I do what I'm told, and that's what I think everyone should be doing.

My squadmates aren't on the same page with me, however. Consequently, we've got one hell of a situation in our room. Our commander, Commander Sweetheart as I've decided to call him on here because he's so nice (and that's the problem for them), is just about finished with us. The pushups have increased. The frequency of putting on full combat gear and going for sprints have increased. Putting on the gas mask and doing work is a regular occurrence. Despite all this, the punishment just isn't working.

So the other day while the guys were laughing and goofing off in formation, the commander got really straight faced, turned around and put his hands up in exasperation, and told us to run to the basketball court around the corner. When we got there he made us get into matsav 2, the pushup position, and we didn't leave that for a solid twenty minutes.

I'm pretty sure about half the exercising I've done has been because these boys can't make the connection between goofing off and getting our butts kicked. Needless to say, I've been more than frustrated of late. It's a strange thing to like someone as a person but detest them as a coworker/colleague/squadmate.

Prepare for a couple more griping posts as the guys in my room slowly learn to behave, hopefully. Oh, and one last thing.  Don't get me wrong, these guys are becoming soldiers in the best army in the world.  They are learning what it means to be a Golanchik, what it means to be a 'warrior,' but the whole process would just be easier if they could learn to talk less and listen more.  I guess they'll figure that out sooner or later.

And either way, don't worry about me - at least I'm getting into really good shape!