Chag Sheleg Sameach! (Happy Snow Day!)

Last week, the weather people were predicting some snow. Despite the recommendation of stocking up on bread and milk, the thermometer stayed in the 40s, and all we got was a light drizzle. So, when we were warned of snowfall for last night and this morning, I was naturally skeptical. It does snow around here, and the elevation of Jerusalem is about 2,500 feet, but...

Well, it snowed over night and early this morning. Without knowing that, I woke up feeling even more unwilling than usual to get out of bed with the customary 7am alarm, and instantly realized I wasn't going to be able to get out of bed. Only then did I take a look out the window, seeing that there were actually snowflakes coming down. My first Israel snow! The strange thing, however, was that the snow was falling like rain. They were clearly flakes, but they were coming down so quickly!

"A heavy snowfall blanketed Jerusalem and the surrounding areas Tuesday night and was continuing to fall Wednesday morning. As expected, the Jerusalem municipality decided to cancel school in the capital for the day due to the slippery streets. University classes were also canceled, as well as kindergartens and preschools."

That, and the rest of the following quotes, are from a Jerusalem Post article. This gets funny.

And apparently, it must be severe, because "100 snow plows were deployed around the city and were clearing the roads." Man, must really be snowing hard, eh?

Must really be chilly to have all this snow, right? "The forecaster said that with strong winds, the temperature in the capital could plummet to as low as -9º C." Wow, -9 Celsius? Burr! So, the wind chill could make the temperature a bone freezing, gasp, 15 degrees Fahrenheit! That's pretty cold, but not in terms of wind chill. When the Green Bay Packer's played the New York Giants for the NFC championship this year, in Green Bay, the wind chill was negative 23 degrees. That, my friends, deserves a new's report.

How on earth are they going to deal with such freezing weather? "[The ambulance service] has also reissued protocols for treating victims of hypothermia, and paramedics have been outfitted with warm gloves and special suits." And a sixth of our population is from Russia...

People drive like madmen here, especially the cops. As opposed to American cops, who tend to drive especially within the law, Israeli cops take advantage of their immunity. How often have you been slowed down on the interstate because a cop was also on the road, driving with the traffic? Should we pass him? He is going 65 on a 65. Well, the cops here are insane drivers, whipping around turns and gunning their Subaru's to the max. Not surprisingly, then, "A 17-year-old girl was lightly injured when a police car flipped over on Jerusalem's Golda Meier Boulevard due to the blizzard." My emphasis.

I hope the girl is ok. That sounds pretty serious, for a car to flip. I can 100% guarantee you the cop was driving recklessly, especially for a -– blizzard. Blizzard! That's serious! Must be, like, a few feet or something. Terrible winds, too! A blizzard is actually a defined term, or at least has definitions by individual countrys' weather services. Canada's definition requires constant 25mp/h winds and a wind chill of less than -13 degrees Fahrenheit. America requires constant 35mp/h winds and visibility limited to a quarter of a mile.

Most blizzards have a couple feet of snow. The Great Blizzard of 1888 had snowdrifts of up to 50 feet! I personally remember, with great affection, the North American Blizzard of 1996. That was the absolute greatest winter of my life. I am from Elkton, Virginia, which is right next to the Shenandoah National Park. The SNP was recorded as getting 47 inches, and Elkton got just as much. My dog and I, I remember vividly, went jumping through the snow, because neither of us could walk properly. She would jump, reappear a second later, bounding forward, while I almost crawled on the top of the 4 feet of white stuff. That was a blizzard!

So, one of the most respected newspapers in Israel reported a blizzard, at least inadvertently. Must be quite a bit of snow! How much, precisely, do you ask? "About 10 cm. is expected to accumulate in Jerusalem by the end of Wednesday and another 10 by late Thursday."

Wait. Aren't centimeters smaller than inches? Isn't that about, um, let me estimate... 4 inches? Wait, 4 inches of snow is a blizzard? Oh, hold on, plus another 10 centimeters – Oh. An 8 inch blizzard?

Humph. It's been raining since 8am. The weather is really miserable. There is literally so much rain on our front walkway that a river came in under our door, before we noticed. Miserable. It's funny that they were so worried about snow. I'm worried we're going to have floods! Take a look at this picture. I took this from my window, of our back yard, around 7:45am. This is our blizzard conditions...

UPDATE ON PREVIOUS POST

The seat that the Italian sits in every day, next to Chicago and myself, was left vacant. She sat on the opposite side of the room, and sent me sidelong glances the entire time. True story. A little petulant, aren't we?

Europeans, what a silly group of people!

Today we played Taboo, or at least the ulpan equivalent of Taboo. We had slivers of paper with words on them, and we had to describe them for our partners' to figure out, without using the word, of course. It was pretty fun, really. I was paired up with a girl from Chicago, and also the Italian. We had such a hard time speaking over the din of the entire classroom, and the Italian said, "I can't hear what you are saying!"

"No? Sorry," and I leaned forward. "I'll speak louder."
"No, I just can't understand what you're saying."
"What?" I was confused. I spoke up, and clearly. "You don't know the vocab, you mean?"
"I don't understand Americans. You guys have such a strong accent, I can't understand a word you're saying! All I hear is American," leaning back in her seat, smugly and self-reassuringly nodding her head.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I can't hear you. Your accent just overpowers the Hebrew."
"Ok...," shifting to the right, towards my American compatriot.

At this point, the Chicago girl and I exchanged looks. It was mildly offensive, the way she so blatantly told us how terrible our accents were. She went on to tell us how she never can understand Americans, and that our Hebrew is always murdered by the accents -- worse so than any other non-native speakers. Great, that's very encouraging. Chicago, however, was not ready to lay down and accept humiliation.

"Really, you think so? I think the Portuguese are hard to understand," pointing her chin towards the Brazilians.
Emphatically, "No way! They speak like Israelis."
Chicago was not going to have that rebuke. She, after all, spent a year living in Brazil; she knows Portuguese. "I disagree, you're wrong, you notice how they speak with that sing-song tune? Their accent is so heavily Portuguese. I can tell right away where they are from."
"Well, I guess, but they don't sound so bad. I mean, I can understand them at least."
"Yeah, the French are pretty bad, right?" I had to put in my two cents, and they really do fight through that nasal inflection.
"I guess. Nothing like you guys," with a dismissing flick of the hand.

I didn't want to say it, but Chicago felt like it was time. I gave her a quick look, as if I knew what she was thinking, and gave her the go-ahead nod. "Italians, your accent -- it's also very noticeable."
"No!" The Italian sat bolt upright in her seat, eyes wide open. "That's not true! We have a very soft accent, and it drops completely when we speak Hebrew!"
"Right. In Italian you add an 'eh' or some type of up-talk ending, like 'spicy-eh.'"
"Yes, we add that in Italian, but we don't do it in Hebrew!"
"Yes you do! I had an Italian in my other ulpan class, and she spoke Hebrew the same way as you do," fingering her pen.
"No, whatever," the Italian sitting straight up, picked up her notebook, tidying up her desk with her eyes down, rearranging nothing worth rearranging. "You're wrong, whatever. Whatever!"

She was not pleased! It was silly how easily she told us that our accents were so visible through the Hebrew, but when we pointed out that she had an Italian accent, just as the Parisians have French accents, and the Brazilians have Brazilian accents, she took such great offense. We had a long conversation on the horrible American disposition, and the other students from other countries, but then when her nationality came into question... What puerile, touchy Europeans!

After a few minutes, knowing that the conversation was over, I let slip what I had really wanted to say the whole time. Italy-girl gave over a sentence, in Hebrew, while still playing Taboo. I let the thought on my mind slip, and I felt bad, and then I realized how comical it all was! I said, "Now that'sa spicy'eh meat'ah ball'eh!

"No way! I DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT! That's American-Italian, and I am not one of those people."
"Really?," responding in a deferential tone, realizing that I could have just been slightly obnoxious. "I thought Italians were Italians?"
"No, I am from the north of Italy. We don't speak like that," lifting her nose skyward.
"Oh, yeah, I guess not."

At the end of class, unsure if maybe I was wrong in my estimation of her accent, I asked Chicago what she thought. "Was she a little bit sensitive about that Italian thing?," not sure what Chicago would say.
"I know, right?! I'm glad you said that," fully effecting a look of surprise by raising her eyebrows and half-smiling.
"Good," relaxing my shoulders, "I wasn't sure if it was just me."
"No, no, she totally speaks with an Italian accent. I can barely understand her sometimes, because she puts 'eh' on the end of everything, so I can't tell if the verbs are masculine or feminine..."
"Yeah, me too! Sheesh, I thought I was being racist she got so mad."

This is why I like the Brits. Their accents are as heavy and pronounced as Americans, and they know it, just like we realize how terribly we butcher the language. We all do, really. That's the thing; speak proudly, but realize that if you're from Italy, or Virginia, everybody is going to realize you're not from Jerusalem.

Mamma mia! Non te la prendere!

Yesterday marked the one week anniversary of my ulpan. If you read a previous post of mine you'd see that I thought I was in the lower half of the class, barely able to keep up with the level. I was mistaken. I wouldn't be so presumptuous to say that I'm actually in the upper portion of the hierarchy, the hierarchy of the "better" students, but I would say that I seem to have one of the larger vocabs and ability to conjugate the verbs. Essentially, the way the class works is that she throws things out there, like a new verb or some review, and we answer her with the conjugated forms or sentences or discuss the questions she poses. Many, many times I'm the only one answering when it comes to which structure the verb falls in; the binyan, an all important element of conjugation. Sometimes, I'm the only one even answering what the verb means -- we do have quite a few on our plate right now, so I think I just have a mind for memorizing infinitives.

It's funny that I was so worried about the next 5 months and whether or not I would be able to stick to the class for that long. If you miss a day or don't understand something, and don’t have a chance to study, in a language course, you're just screwed. I had a right to be weary, but I misjudged my fellow students. I'm not saying they're dumb, or don't know Hebrew – they are smart, and they know the language pretty well. I simply lacked that all-important confidence. I am still too reticent in speaking, as I feel so self-conscious when I do. In my opinion, honestly, learning a language is the most difficult academic subject available. Math, science, politics... at least you can listen to the professor in your own language!

The class has taken on some new people, and other people have left (for the ones that left I thank Heaven). We have two new French girls, one of whom is fairly beautiful, but I don't think they really speak English. The pretty one is a little ridiculous. For instance, she was talking on her phone in the classroom, during class. For about 10 minutes. Yeah, French people often deserve their stereotypes, at least in my encounters. Also, we got an Ethiopian guy, who I can't understand a word of in Hebrew, or any other language for that matter. I think he speaks French to the Parisians. And, we have these two really cool Brazilian kids, a guy and a girl (and another girl, but apparently she said that the Americans have funny/stupid accents and she can't understand us, so...). The cool Brazilian girl is pretty attractive, in that South American, she's a dance instructor kind of way. The guy was supposedly an Olympic weight lifting hopeful. He isn't overly huge, though, so maybe I misunderstood him and he only helped train weight lifters. Whatever.

The last word is about this really really cool Italian girl. She's from Turin, which makes her cultured right off the bat. She knows Latin, French, English, Spanish, Italian and working on the 'Brew. Being that she's Italian, even though her English is better than many Americans, she tends to speak Hebrew with an Italian accent. So, when you think of Italian inflection, think "Now that-seh spice-eh meat-ah ball-eh!" And then, in Hebrew, "Yeish-eh lee-eh cheshek-eh laasot-ah..." It's a problem because suffixes are king in this language, but boy oh boy, how I laugh and laugh when she speaks! To myself, of course, considering I probably sound like a redneck to these people.

And yes, my main observations were just about the attractiveness of the girls in the class. What else did you expect? I'm 23!

Yesterday I was walking home from class when I saw something quite interesting. As I was walking down the street I saw a cop van and a cop car parked next to a house that is being built. The construction on the house looks just about finished, with just the final touches needed. The walls are up, the Jerusalem stone has been applied, and all it was lacking externally was windows. For some reason, without seeing anything but the police presence, I knew right away what was going on.

Israel is known as a country of refuge, believe it or not. In this area of the world, including the Asian continent we supposedly live on, the Jewish state is looked to as a place to go to rise up in the world, or to be rescued from danger. That's why I see it as America, fifty years ago, where people from around the world would dream of going to to get Westernized. Israel has the best universities outside of Europe and America, rivaling both of those areas as well. We have one of the best medical programs. Our trading centers are also top notch, such as in diamonds (surprise surprise). And we have human rights; no wonder the Sudanese and Ethiopians trekked here from hundreds of miles away.

Not without reason, then, do many people from poor Eastern European countries and southeast Asian nations try to get into Israel to live, work, or study. You wouldn't imagine how many Filipino, Vietnamese, and Indonesians are here working as geriatric nurses. As a matter of fact, my flatmate's friend talked to me yesterday about a Korean family that she just interviewed to rent her grandfather's apartment for the year. The man is getting a degree from a college here in Jerusalem.

And, as this country is continually under construction, of course the labor is going to be international. Not only Arabs are the construction crew, however. As the movie Janem, Janem expertly reveals, people from Romania and Turkey find their way to Israel. Tons of Southeast Asians, again. People from all over want to get in to help build the country -- in 2008 for money as in 1895 for ideals. Human ambition never changes, only the circumstances. There are so many anecdotal stories about people in ravaged countries who work in factories only to be paid with the products that they create or work on. As I read once, some Russian coffin makers are actually compensated with, of all things, coffins. At least in Israel they'll get some cash.

So, as I was walking down the street, there was a construction site, and police cars. And there, just like in the aforementioned movie (which you should definitely find), were Eastern European looking men being led into the police van. As far as I know, the way it works is the cops know what is being worked on, and they just do random visa checks. They show up, ask for your passport, check the details, and if there's a problem they take you in...and then deport. I wonder if those men I saw yesterday are back in Lithuania?